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Reading RoomThe Physical Manifestation of Duck in the Everyday WorldThere are several levels on which Duck can manifest itself. There are the physical, metaphysical, ultra-metaphysical, subphysical, and I-wanna-get-physical levels. The discussion of this essay will be mainly of the physical manifestation of Duck, and of course any other levels I may feel like throwing in for effect. Duck Etymology #1: from Manifest to MembranapedifestThe word 'manifest' itself is thrown into question when applied in this manner. The word was adopted during the late Middle English period (approx. the time of Chaucer) from the Latin manifestus or manufestus. The word was made up of the component parts manu meaning 'hand' and festus meaning 'stick, root.' This word, however semantically well suited to the purpose of this essay it may be, I find to be etymologically lacking. I would prefer to replace the hand allusion with one of a webbed foot. But 'webbed foot' in Latin is too unbearably long to fit all in one word (membrana quadam digiti pedum inter se copulati atque copiunti), therefore a shorter form is required. The altered form 'membranapedifest' (foot membrane root) is much better suited for the job. A Duck Kicks Itself in the HeadWell, with that small discrepancy in today's English language somehow corrected (or a least improved upon, as the universe of the Duck does not claim to have absolutes), we can begin discussion of the matter at hand---and quack the physical membranapedifestation of the Duck. Ducks are flexible. They have oil on their feathers. They can kick themselves in the head and perform this action with such grace and control that is they hurt themselves but not at all, but instead it feels good for the Duck. It is important to be observant in one's search for the Duck; noting which other animals also kick themselves in the head without really hurting themselves can give one important insights which aid on the path to Duckiness: Dogs kick themselves often in the head, but sometimes hurt themselves or kick one spot too long and too intensely making it bleed, Cats seem to have mastered the art a bit beyond the Dog Stage, Small Birds have also been witnessed performing this feat---but alas their movement is too fast and jerky to rival the sleek sophistication and grace of a Duck kicking itself in the head. But the Duck is in no way superior to its comrades of the animal kingdom; the Duck looks on, accepts the way things are, and with a 'Quack!' has already gone on to the next thing to look at. In sooth, be it said, 'The Duck!'. Verily, I say unto you: 'Indeed.' A Duck Stretches Its Neck Out to an Impossible LengthThe Sleek Sophistication of the Duck is by no means limited to to it Kicking Itself in the Head. Ducks can also Stretch Their Necks Out to Impossible Lengths, both in the Direction the Beak Points (as a Duck foraging for grass hanging over its head from the bank of the river) and in the Direction the Tail Points (as a Duck preening its Wings and Tail Feathers). A Duck can even lay its head upside down underneath one of its wings. You can demonstrate the difficulty of this move yourself by trying to look out from behind your own thigh. Truly a feat worth a bit of laudation. 'Hooray! AttaDuck! Way to go, Quack!' The Duck's Way to CleanlinessDucks hang out in the water almost all the time. They preen themselves by putting their Heads in the most unexpected positions and putting their Beaks in rather interesting places. They preen themselves often, but they're always quite oily. I have not yet witnessed one Duck preening another. Some may choose to follow this Duck's Path to Cleanliness, if it has meaning to his or her particular Way to Duckiness. If you don't think it's for you, leave it. It's not that important.
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